Angry, because even though I expected this time to come, it still came. It could've passed me by.
Scared, because it’s fucking cancer. That even though it’s stage one and my lymph nodes are clear and it is close, but far enough away from the muscle wall to get it all without involving the muscle. That I’m lucky I had the mammogram when I did because if it had been missed, next October we would’ve found something completely different. All those good and positive things, it’s still fucking cancer.
Yes, it is cancer, and you are getting rid of it by doing something very brave. You are standing up against societal norms. Breastless and braless! (I promise not to have a shirt made that says this...maybe just B&B proud)
ReplyDeleteYou are also saving your own life. A life that we all treasure. Try to see it that way. In 30 days, life will be very different, but you will be on the other side of it.
Very understandable on both of the feelings Susan. Good thing you’re total badass and you’re ready to kick some ass. But on serious not you anit at this alone we gotchu.
ReplyDeleteHe was an older man, how many of these had he done? The tech doing the scans became nicer the longer he went on. He had to redo a series. It scared the shit out of me. I had to wait for the doctor to call. I knew. Then it was too much. I shut down. You tune up. That is courage.
ReplyDeleteNeither is likely to change the outcome. We put a tremendous amount of trust in people that start work one day a week super early. Let’s just hope they liked the last episode of Squid Games they watched and are happy to be where they are in life.
Your posts are provocative and I am reactive. I doubt that helps either of us but, know I am listening. ☺️