Today is Day 12 post first chemo. “Two or three weeks” seems to be the average per Dr. Google of when hair starts to fall out.
I read some threads in the group I belong to on FB. Losing your hair is a big deal to everyone. I thought I’d be no big deal about it, but I’m not.
Part of me thinks the waiting is the hardest part about all of this and I should just shave it now. Part of me wants to hold on to it as long as I can because I know it will be a couple years before it’s this long again.
I am not looking forward to how I will look. I don’t think I will look cute like a lot do. And now everyone who sees me will know I’m sick. The idea makes me feel more vulnerable in public.
I feel like when the hair goes, the real grief and mourning about all this will begin. That the reminder of what is really happening will be my face in every mirror. That how well I’ve been handling this will all fall apart.
Hair is a big deal. Grieving is a good description of the reaction. It’s temporary though so that’s good. My BC friends called it (20 years ago when I had it) the $60,000 haircut! Much more expensive now, I’m sure. One cool thing is when mine grew in it was kinky curly. But that was temporary too. I love you🥰😘
ReplyDeleteI freaked with my sisters pointing out my hair thinning. We all get it....vanity. I would try to reframe it as a badge of courage then go buy a wig. That is me. Some are bolder and braver about it. I would start loving hats...which I do not prefer or scarves. It is all preference.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would keep the word temporary in my daily vocabulary. This is all temporary. A bad set of hiccups in your overall life. Love you...hugs!