Wednesday, January 29

Chemo school

Well, that was hard and overwhelming. I’d like to say that I am strong and put on a brave face, but I didn’t. I cried. Everything sounds terrible. Diarrhea and constipation. There’s nausea and food tastes bad. But you have to drink lots of fluids. Your bones hurt from the Neulasta shot. Oh yeah, there’s mouth sores or your tongue feels like it’s on fire. Don’t mind the fuzzy vision either. And, most famously, chemo brain.

The first chemo is Feb. 6. Next Thursday. Also my return to work day. On Friday I have to go back for the Neulasta shot.

I should feel “normal” until Saturday afternoon and then the pre-meds will wear off. Then I should feel all the feels for several days.

I thought the hair loss didn’t start until the second session, but no, that’s from the beginning too, so I’m going to make an appointment to have it shaved off. You lose all your hair, even your nose hair.

I’m calm now, but I’m sure the coming days will be hard as I wait for the unknown.
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6 comments:

  1. Anonymous1/29/2025 3:31 PM

    Oh my Dear Sooz. That is really tough. I remember the docs offering me medication to help me get through the symptoms. I said I thought I’d be fine. I wasn’t so fine and the next day started Ativan 1 mg which I continued through the whole treatment. I highly recommend it. Also more medical leave. Radiation and working is one thing but chemo is much harder. How often do you get chemo? Mine was every three weeks. Good plan to get a “haircut” ahead of time. Lots of crying makes sense ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  2. Sandy1/29/2025 7:45 PM

    Three months of hell for some great years ahead.

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  3. Sandy1/29/2025 7:59 PM

    Will you work from home or take off a few days after each treatment?
    Are treatments 3 hours...all day?

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  4. Dona1/29/2025 9:18 PM

    Your honesty and vulnerability in sharing this journey are truly powerful. I can’t begin to imagine how overwhelming this must feel, but I want you to know that you are not alone. It’s okay to cry, to feel scared, to grieve the changes happening—it doesn’t make you any less strong. In fact, your willingness to express these feelings is a testament to your strength.

    The road ahead sounds tough, and I wish I could take even a little bit of the burden off your shoulders. I am here to support you each step of the way. Please be gentle with yourself, and know that so many people are rooting for you and love you. 😘

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  5. BrianH1/30/2025 7:53 AM

    Did they at least give you a lollipop?

    I’m not a fan of what they are doing to you. When they say it’s a battle - they are not lying.

    I hope you find the path of least resistance through this!

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  6. Anonymous2/05/2025 11:04 AM

    Oh my goodness, I would have cried too! That is a lot! You are still brave through, even if tears fall. You are stronger than you think, and you will get through this. I hope you can WFH though - none of this sounds like a reason to go into the office. As much as I'd like to see you, we can figure that out later. Sending hugs and prayers for tomorrow. -MB

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